is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
