Whatcha textin bout Willis?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
