I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
