If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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