I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
