Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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