I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
