he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize