Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
