i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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