At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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