so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
