hell yes lets make some ravioli
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
