So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
