I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
