hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize