I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
