Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
