Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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