even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
