Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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