Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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