she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
