TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
