there's paper in my vomit.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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