I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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