Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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