You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
