When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
