You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
