I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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