they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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