C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Even my vagina gasped.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
