I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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