they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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