My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
