Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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