apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
God, I missed his penis.
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