I wish life had little blips of pornography
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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