I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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