He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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