areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
