I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
