Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
bring money and cleavage
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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