In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
