I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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