they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
