When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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