jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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