yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
