i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
