i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
