so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
