I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
