You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
