he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
